months of green...

have you noticed my lack of posting lately? Well, I've been feeling a little, actually a lot, green with this wonderful little parasitic baby growing inside of me. It's amazing how my productive, energetic, get tons done life quickly came to a halt the day I hit 6 weeks of pregnancy and the persistent nausea, vomiting, and lack of appetite settled in for the next 13 weeks. I am almost 20 weeks pregnant and can tell I'm feeling better and nearing the end of this constant feeling of the flu. I have actually placed a few meals on the table for my family, Brooks is not doing ALL the laundry anymore, the messy drawers are starting to bug me again, limon chips and coke are not my mainstay foods anymore, and I've had my hair colored and actually applied make-up to my face. wow, so many things have gone by the wayside for 3 months. Often I cried at night to Brooks, telling him I didn't accomplish anything that day and that I couldn't possibly face another day of feeling this way. He put things into perspective for me, "you made a baby today" he'd simply say and he would go about feeding the children and taking care of the house. Bless him. It's amazing how life changes when it turns into survival mode. My to do lists became obsolete, as showering and getting dressed became the main goal of the day. I had to slow down out of necessity, but now after 3 months I have become used to the slower pace and enjoy my extra time to ponder, sit on the floor with the kids, or just do nothing. I couldn't imagine it before, me doing nothing, but now it's a regular occurrence. Nothing, except growing a baby Brooks would remind me.


In these months I have felt extremely grateful for my health, the times I do feel so much energy and motivation to move and do and eat healthy. I have pondered often about people with disability, long term illness, cancer, depression. They don't have the wonderful reason of a baby inside for feeling so crappy. They don't have the prize of a newborn in the end to spur them on each day. They are heroes to me, those who endure it well, those who find the peace and joy of each day despite their trials. Enjoy your health, live it up, never take it for granted, go on a little run for me today! And you just might see a few more posts on this site in the months to come. Until the baby is born of course and life as I now know it comes to a halt again...